Mar 262013
 

INTRODUCTION

The Delete Key provides a keyboard based, fully manual method for the removal of information. Furthermore, use of the Delete Key in conjunction with the small amount of brain matter you have left may induce a tingling sensation of pleasure.

Failure to use the Delete Key may result in aggravation, humiliation, and knee-jerk reactionism. This manual will help you locate and implement a full Delete Key pressing method to ensure your peace of mind remains unaltered.

LOCATING THE DELETE KEY

  1. Lift your hands off the key board.
  2. Scan the keys for a key labeled “Delete”
  3. Make note of this location as it will come in handy later.

USING THE DELETE KEY

  1. Locate something on your computer you wish to delete. Files, text, e-mail messages, and vital operating system components are all “delete-enabled” items.
  2. Select the item using your mouse or other selection device.
  3. Lift you hands off the keyboard and using one of you fingers, depress the key labeled Delete.
  4. The offending material has now been removed from your sight.

WARNING

Some systems may require confirmation of your Delete-based system. If this is the case, make sure to agree to the deletion. Otherwise you may become reburdened with the offensive or unwanted material.

WHAT SHOULD I DELETE

Anything that might bring you unhappiness. In this semi-lucid hyper-cyber-superhighway world, you need the unending power of a Delete key. Not only is is easy to implement, it offers tremendous Return On Investment (ROI). Consider this scenario:

Helga Gumpwetter has three text files. In the first file are instructions for making a nuclear bomb. The other two contain funny jokes about pumpkins. Because Helga deleted the nuclear bomb message and read the pumpkin jokes, she lacked the ability to nuke her ex-boyfriend, thus saving all of King County Washington. Talk about some serious ROI!

 Posted by at 10:40 am