Note: I don’t know who the original author is, but I’m guessing its a she and she’s over 50. 🙂
A WOMAN’S RANDOM THOUGHTS
- Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
- Women over 50 don’t have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
- My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.
- The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you’re doing, someone else does.
- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
- Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
- Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
- I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and set my pantyhose on fire.
- Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
- They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn’t all that communicative. I did hear from it the other day after I said, “Body, how’d you like to go to the six o’clock class in vigorous toning?” Clear as a bell my body said “Listen witch … do it and die.”
- The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him).
- I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
- I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.