Jul 172012
 

I am almost 100% certain these are all fake, but funny. Enjoy.

“Aim towards the enemy.” — Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

“When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.”  — U.S. Army

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground. — U.S.A.F.

“If the enemy is in range…so are you.” — U.S. Army Infantry Journal

“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit. — U.S. Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” — U.S. Air Force Manual

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” — U.S. Army Infantry Journal

“Tracers work both ways.” — U.S. Army Ordinance

“Five-second fuses only last three-seconds.” — U.S. Army Infantry Journal

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.” — Col. David Hackworth

“If your attack is going too well, you’re probably walking into an ambush.” — U.S. Army Infantry Journal

“No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.” — Joe Gay

“Any ship can be a minesweeper…once.” — Anonymous

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” — Unknown Army Recruit

“Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” — Your Buddies

“If you see a bomb technician running try to keep up with him.” — U.S. Army Trooper

 

 Posted by at 7:59 pm
Jul 032012
 

“Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.” — Jack Benny

“It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.” — Babe Ruth

“Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.” — Lee Trevino

“[Players today] throw their clubs backwards, and that’s wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.” — Tommy Bolt

“Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.” — Jimmy Demaret

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” — Jack Lemmon

“The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.” — Unknown

“I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.” — Gerald Ford

“The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.” — PG Wodehouse

“In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.” — Ken Harrelson

“The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.” — Chi Chi Rodriguez

 Posted by at 11:55 am